A Challenge and Encouragement to Men

God has given the responsibility of spiritual leadership to men. This is evident throughout the Bible. It was the man (Adam) whom God created first (Genesis 1 and 2). It was to the man (Adam) that God gave the commandment not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 2:16-17). And when Adam and Eve sinned, it was to the man (Adam) that God said, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9).

In the United States today, we have weak churches because we have weak families; we have weak families because we have weak husbands and fathers; and we have weak husbands and fathers because men have not been taught and have not applied basic scriptural principles.

One pastor explained to the men of his congregation that since they had called him to be their “spiritual doctor,” he would exercise the same diligence that their medical doctor did. So he proceeded to schedule a “spiritual examination” for each man in the congregation.

Men who came for such an appointment usually felt ill at ease and a bit threatened at first, but these personal conferences were extremely fruitful and provided an effective means to help them see their need to be faithful spiritual leaders. Let us also ask ourselves some “spiritual examination” questions.

1. How would you rate your personal walk with the Lord?

When we accept Jesus as our Savior and allow Him to become Lord of our lives, I believe there will be some noticeable evidences in our life that are clear indications of our walk with the Lord. There will be a new love for Scripture (1 Peter 2:2-3). There will be a new awareness of right and wrong (Hebrews 5:13-14). There will be a new desire to be like Jesus Christ (2 Peter 1:4; Galatians 5:22-24). There will be a new social pressure from those around us who are convicted by our changed life (1 Peter 4:3-5).

One indicator of your walk with the Lord is your answer to this question: Am I more concerned about my character or my reputation? Character refers to your pattern of behavior. It is who you really are. Reputation refers to other people’s ideas of who they perceive you to be. The person who is more concerned about his character than his reputation will do the right thing even if no one notices. He will do the right thing even if it hurts his reputation.

Ronald Reagan said, “The character that takes command in moments of crucial choices has already been determined by a thousand other choices made earlier in seemingly unimportant moments.” And, “Character has been determined by all the ‘little’ choices of years past—by all those times when the voice of conscience was at war with the voice of temptation, which was whispering the lie ‘it really doesn’t matter.’”

2. Are you reading your Bible daily?

One of the secrets of living a godly life is the diligent practice of daily devotions. It is impossible to live right without daily food! If you faithfully attend Sunday morning church services, participate in the ordinances of the church, and go to seminars and family camps and Bible conferences, yet fail to observe habits of regular and systematic Bible study, your spiritual growth will be hampered.

Every Christian needs to stay in top spiritual condition through the discipline of observing personal daily devotions. One of the main reasons for backsliding among believers is failure to maintain the habit of regular daily devotions. We read in the Bible that Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Job, David, and Jesus all spent time with God in prayer and meditation early in the day. Going without breakfast is a poor habit, but so is a failure to have a spiritual breakfast each day.

The choice of a time of day for devotions depends on one’s personal make-up and job schedule. The important thing to do is to set a time and then stick to that time every day. All of us need a time to refuel, to collect our thoughts, and to set the pace of the day (Psalm 1:1-2).

3. Do you have victory in your moral life?

Lust is not a victimless crime. Lust results in mental, emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual consequences that affect others, including our family, our descendants, and the church. Romans 14:7 says, “For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.”

The greatest damage of lusting with our eyes is that we train them to focus on the delusions of immorality and we become spiritually blind to the realities of life. This blindness allows us to rush headlong into sin, ignoring the consequences of our actions.

One of the clearest calls to moral and sexual purity in the New Testament is in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, which says, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.”

All one has to do to realize the impurity around us is to turn on a TV for only a few minutes or view some YouTube channels, and soon the heat of sensuality will be evident. Added to this are those who appear in public wearing short shorts, tight skirts, low necklines, and tight t-shirts or sweaters—all promoting a temptation to sexual impurity.

It is important for all of us to be reminded that in God’s order of creation, men and women are “wired” differently. The sight of the female body (even just a little bit) quickly triggers wrong thoughts in most men. Women, by way of contrast, usually are not “turned on” visually in the same intense way that men are. Typically, women find frequent words of tenderness and sincere expressions of appreciation much more stimulating than physical images of men.

As a result, the godly man ought to encourage his wife, his daughters, and even his sisters to follow the three L principles in dress: long, loose, and layered. Men also should be encouraged to be modestly covered and to avoid tight-fitting clothing.

So how shall we overcome the grip of impurity in this immoral age and obey the command to live an exemplary moral life?

Pray daily and specifically for your own purity.
Saturate your mind each day with God’s Word.
Put hedges around your life:
- Avoid the magazine rack at the bookstore, gas station, and convenience store.
- Avoid suggestive images on television and the unfiltered internet.
- Never flirt—not even in jest—whether you are married or single.
- Resolve not to spend a long time alone with a person of the opposite sex.
- Make a covenant with your eyes like Job did when he said, “I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?” (Job 31:1).
- Refuse to take a second look if surprised by an immodest image.
- If these steps are not enough, meet regularly with someone who will hold you accountable.

Following Job’s example means treating women with dignity and seeing them as souls for whom Christ died. If their dress is immodest, look them in the eyes (and nowhere else).

My guess is that many males (by the age of 18 to 20) have had an experience with masturbation. Masturbation is self-stimulation of the sexual organs in order to achieve some kind of sexual release and gratification. Some think that pornography and masturbation are proper releases for sexual tensions. The Bible says that we are to flee youthful lusts (2 Timothy 2:22).

More and more men and women, fellows and girls, are becoming involved in this form of self-gratification, which often then leads to a sexual relationship. This activity leads to feelings of guilt; it easily becomes addictive; it robs one of a conscience void of offense toward God (Acts 24:16); it indicates a lack of self-control; and it is displeasing to God. Giving in to lustful habits does not lead to freedom but to enslavement instead.

God’s design is that the husband be bonded exclusively to his wife (see 1 Corinthians 7:3-5). Masturbation facilitates a bond to something or someone other than one’s wife. For the single man, the practice sets up a destructive pattern which will impede his marriage relationship (if he gets married in the future). For someone who has no intention of ever becoming married, it becomes a way to serve and please self instead of focusing on the needs of others. Sexual pleasure outside of marriage is the opposite of God’s design (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

4. Do you have financial freedom?

Money is one of the most unsatisfying of possessions. It does take away some cares, but it brings with it many additional concerns. Matthew Henry (in his commentary on Genesis 13:2) wrote concerning riches, “There is a burden of care in getting them, fear in keeping them, temptation in using them, guilt in abusing them, sorrow in losing them, and a burden of account, at last, to be given up concerning them.”

Many people are surrounded by all kinds of material things and still sense that something is gnawing a hole in their hearts. True contentment comes from godliness in the heart, not wealth in the hand. A person who depends on material things for peace and assurance will never be satisfied, for material things have a way of losing their appeal.

The desire for riches is one of Satan’s snares. Some people’s primary aim in life is to make more money. This drive for riches has brought many to spiritual poverty and destruction. People sometimes are tempted to deceive, defraud, cheat, and even abuse—all to get more money. For many, this drive for more has ended in the tragedy of a wasted life, a broken marriage, the sorrow of losing one’s children to the world, and the grief of seeing wealth vanish overnight.

All of us must guard against becoming obsessed with material comforts and with a desire to gorge ourselves with trivial things—things that soon become more junk to sell at the next yard sale. We can gather little or much between birth and death, but in the final hour we will leave it all behind. A good philosophy is this: “Use it up, wear it out, make it do, do without.”

Not all of the early Christians were peasants and slaves; some were people of great wealth. They were simply instructed not to trust in possessions and wealth. One of the great dangers of riches is that it’s difficult to have them without trusting in them.

So, what is the remedy for us so we can guard against greed and covetousness? The answer is generosity. The principle of stewardship is involved in generosity. A steward is entrusted with the assets of the owner and is responsible for making wise investments with those assets. A wise steward understands that the assets he has under his control do not belong to him and should be returned to the master with increase.

Many people refuse to be generous because they falsely believe that what they give, they lose. Yet the very opposite is true. At the end of life, what I have saved, I’ll leave behind; what I’ve spent, I’ve lost; but what I gave, I’ll still have.

Do you have financial freedom? Spouses, have one checkbook, know how your money is being spent, and avoid credit card debt. Parents, teach financial responsibility to your children. Most financial experts agree that it is best not to borrow money for anything on credit that depreciates in value. Taking out a loan for a house, college education, nursing training, or a trade school seems to be legitimate. But be sure that you will be able to pay back your loan in your lifetime. Anyone who is in debt should consider these steps:

Establish a repayment schedule.
Determine to be content with what you have.
Apply additional income to the debt.
Strictly refuse to accumulate new debt.
Determine not to give up the schedule.
Learn new ways to live a simple life.

5. Are you able to stand alone?

As a spiritual leader, I must demonstrate to those for whom I am responsible the importance of standing alone for truth, even if it means personal loss. I must show that I have a real purpose for living because I have scriptural convictions that are worth living for and worth dying for. The desire to stand alone is the heritage of those who know by experience that following scriptural principles constitutes a superior way of life. The motivation to stand alone comes from a wholesome fear of the Lord and a confident assurance of God’s presence and supernatural power.

It is important to notice that in Scripture when someone stood alone, there was often an immediate price to pay. However, that price turned out to be the very means through which God exalted them to a higher position and greater responsibilities. Daniel stood alone and was sent to the den of lions. Then he was given a new position of authority in the kingdom. Because Joseph stood alone, he was sentenced to prison. But from there he was exalted to the position of the second-highest ruler in Egypt. By standing alone Esther put her life in jeopardy. However, through her stand, God’s enemies were destroyed, and she and her people were not only spared from death but also highly honored throughout the empire.

Often the greatest opposition to standing alone does not come from unbelievers or strangers, but from other professing Christians who have compromised in an area of their own lives. These individuals will usually not reevaluate their actions if they can find some justification to condemn or discredit the Christian who is willing to stand alone.

Some situations in which we must stand alone are the following:

When asked to participate in deals or activities which would cause personal loss to any other individual.
When asked by a family member, a Christian friend, or an unbeliever to do anything that would violate your moral conscience.
When asked to look at sensual pictures, magazines, books, movies, or TV programs.
When pressured to wear clothes or follow fads that violate modesty.
When invited to go on a date with a non-Christian.
When encouraged to participate in a practical joke.
When urged to defy authority to gain approval from peers who think authority is unfair.
When asked to disregard your parents’ curfew or other restrictions.
When challenged to take a dare to prove your courage.
When offered liquor, tobacco, or any harmful drug.
When asked to participate in carnal or worldly music.
When encouraged to buy on the Lord’s Day.
When off-color jokes or stories are told.
When tempted to use slang words.

As a spiritual leader and as a Christian we have a high calling. Jesus Christ is our example!

6. Do you make proper use of time?

God gives each of us 60 minutes every hour, 24 hours each day, and 168 hours each week. The length of our time here on earth is uncertain. If a person lives the full allotted time of 70 years (Psalm 90:10), that’s 25,550 days. Psalm 90:12 says, “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” That means we should view life from God’s perspective.

Since we are to be stewards of everything God has blessed us with, we also should be stewards of the days God so graciously gives us. Of the 168 hours each week, do I give God at least a tenth? We talk about the power of prayer. We say that prayer changes things. But it is very easy for busy parents and teachers and farmers and factory workers and school-age youth to neglect taking time for daily Bible reading and prayer.

It is part of human nature to become sloppy with our use of time. It is easy to loaf around and become careless with the moments God gives us. But we are to redeem the time, that is, to buy up every opportunity to use time wisely (Ephesians 5:16). After your hours at your employment each day, how do you use the rest of your time? Do you sit around, serving your own interests? Or do you help your wife or assist with the children or get involved in the needs of others or visit some older people or some sick individuals?

Some employees are full of action when the boss is around. But at other times they overextend the lunch break, take extra breaks, or just waste time on the job—and still expect a full day’s pay.

As a spiritual leader, we should do all we can to try and carefully discipline our use of time. All of us have been given a little chunk out of eternity called “time,” and all of us will someday give an account to God for how we have used it. We need to heed the caution to redeem the time because there are so many opportunities to abuse the time we each are given.

One poet has written,

Life at its best is short;
Time flies so very fast.
Lord, help me not to waste this day,
Lest it should be my last.

Time is beyond the scope of our control. It cannot be sped up, slowed down, stopped, or turned back. We cannot return to the days of our youth, and none of us can recapture lost opportunities. Thus we need to seek to use each minute wisely!

Are you the spiritual leader that God would have you to be to your family and to those with whom you associate? If a spiritual examination reveals that you are in good spiritual health, keep going! But if you have found that there is need for improvement in your spiritual life, it is not yet too late to confess your sins and ask God to help you be the man He wants you to be.